After having me, the first child, mom had two miscarriages.
She’d also had one before me.
That meant that when she got pregnant with my brother, his birth wasn’t actually a given.
She says that during that time I prayed every night for a sibling.
Today, the fruit of mom’s determination — my brother — turns twenty.
A lot of memories come to mind.
The letter you wrote to me when I was around fourteen and went on a trip with my cousins, which included a full transcription of the Brazilian national anthem so I was reminded of home.
Our first trip together, and your first without our parents, where we couldn’t sleep on the bus because we were too busy laughing at either the snoring of the guy in front of us or the way the girl next to us complained about it.
The time I brought you along to the birthday party of a friend of mine, and amidst all the chaos, we sat down by ourselves and had perhaps one of our best conversations we’ve had to date.
Every year on your birthday I tell you I admire you. Perhaps I should do it more often. But sticking to tradition, I do admire you. Really. There’s that one quote that summarizes it. You know the one.
But what I wanted to highlight this year is how impressive it is that we can endlessly come up with games to play and things to do, such that I know I won’t be bored at like that distant relative’s birthday party as long as you’re around.
When mom texts me to ask if I’m going to some event, my first question is always: “Is Caio going?”
The last trip to the Northeast is such a good example of this.
We probably made up about ten different games over a five-day span.
There were the usual suspects, like trying to see how many times we can go the length of the pool underwater.
But then there was this one game where we placed a stone at the bottom of the pool and then each got a piece of silverware that we needed to try and drop as close as possible to the stone while swimming with our eyes closed. (For the record, you beat me at that one.)
You’re just always down to try out the crazy ideas.
I’ve said to myself before that I think at some point in my life I got too serious, too adult-y, and have been trying to allow myself to connect more to the kid in me. The young Yakko that can let go, be playful, and dream.
While I’m trying to bring that side out more elsewhere in life, it’s always been present with you.
So I’m sorry for being pushy and maybe at times not respecting the fact that our interests and hobbies can differ.
When I encourage you to pick up climbing, or hiking, or some of these other painful things I do, perhaps a little bit too strongly, deep down what I really want is your company.
Not that I don’t get enough of it. Spending more time with you has been a highlight of moving back to Brazil.
But it’s just that I sometimes think that you’d be the best company for these things. As you are for so many others.
I guess I just have to learn you don’t always get your first choice in life.
Happy birthday brother!
I love you.
Yakko
So so beautiful!!! Love you guys❤️❤️
Beautiful!